Allergic Reaction to Our Humanity

"Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done." (Genesis 2:3)

I have allergies. Very bad allergies. I am allergic to trees, grass, pollen, weeds, mold, dust... you name it. My doctor recently told me that he has never seen someone score positive on nearly every allergy they were tested for. For all of you scholars out there let me break this down for you, a nearly perfect score on allergy testing is not worthy of putting in the grade book, or on job applications. You don't cheer for a 98% on allergy testing. A nearly perfect score in this case, is failure. I failed my allergy exam almost flawlessly.

It wasn't until now that I reflected on the implications of this failure. My body is literally failing to acclimate to the earth. Rejecting the earth's natural rhythms of growth, green, dirt-y-ness, and dust. My body has physically failed to attune to the ground--refusing to accept its created place amidst the dust. 

Does anyone see where I am going with this?

How often has this been the case? Not only with my body's allergic response to its being an inhabitant of this earth, but to my own refusal to accept that I am a creature of the ground. 

What I mean by this is that I too often refuse to rest in my createdness and desire to create myself into something more than I already am. I strive to be good. I strive to be a person people can remember. I strive to be a person people need and like. I strive to be everything for everybody and anything less is a disappointment. 

In my striving to become more, I experience a loss of who I actually am. 

I am a creature of the dust. God created humans from the ground and formed something that was very good. As a natural part of God's created order, I am called to participate within the rest of the creation, to stop striving, to rest. 

The invitation of being part of the earth is to accept the offer of living in Sabbath. 

"Sabbath is the day that reminds us who we are. We don't have to justify our existence by striving and doing. We aren't less of a contribution to the world because we honor our limits and produce less one day a week... We didn't earn this identity as the beloved; it was bestowed like a kiss from God before we ever left the womb. Keeping Sabbath is one way we enter into the restfulness of who we are in God." 

                                            (Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, Invitations from God)

Sabbath is apart of the God-given law, commanded to us not to force us to get behind, but as an offering of grace and mercy. Sabbath was written into Gods original prescription for how things ought to be. God lived out the sabbath and called the rest of God's world to do the same.

What I am saying is that the invitation for us is there, for us to consider our place in the family of this created earth. We can enter into a sabbatical way of living if we no longer refuse to believe we must be something more than the humans we were created as.

Friends, these words are not just words to share but words that I need to be reminded of as well. I need so badly to be offered a respite from my heart's allergic reaction to my humanity. While my body is rejecting the earth and that I have no control over, but what I can choose to do is see my place in this world as being right where I am supposed to be, dustiness and all.

Muse on the words of Mary Oliver with me. She extends to us the imagery of our place amongst the world and the wild geese. It is softly comforting to me, for reasons I don't really have the words to explain.

"Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.